I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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