You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
