I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
