I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize