I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
