Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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