Kareoke will never be a sober sport
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
