Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
