Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
being pregnant is like rehab
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize
