But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
