I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
God, I missed his penis.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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