How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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