I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
