Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
