Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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