You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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