I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She bit a glass in half.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
