what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Still dying that you shit outside
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize