how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
