Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
