She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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