the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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