i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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