I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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