you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize