So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
