pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize