i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
