yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
