Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
