sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
