My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
