ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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