He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
