the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
