Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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