TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize