I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize