It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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