I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
