how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
