Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
