I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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