Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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