No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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