So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
