I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
