Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
