You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize