Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
