You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
