It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
