Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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