So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
