Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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