like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
